So, really, those are the kinds of things I talk to patients about. More setting your timing, setting your mood, taking your medications at a specific time, those kinds of things are what I discuss. And I think Iris really is the one that can hone in on the pleasure side of intimacy.

.. When we were trying to go through this whole thing, with the IVF and all these different things, especially being a guy… And you’re typically expected, like, you know, hey, it shouldn’t be a big deal. It should, you know, pretty much always be in the mood. But that wasn’t the case. Whether it was from medication or body image and seeing my body change and that sort of thing. How did it come about, writing this book?

Iris Zink, NP: So, a patient that I saw that had ankylosing spondylitis asked me at the end of the visit: She said she couldn’t spread her legs open wide enough to have intercourse with her husband and what did I think about that? And I had a pause, and she said, “Oh, I’ve embarrassed you.” And I said, “You haven’t embarrassed me, I have no idea what the answer to that question is.” I said, “Can I have a couple weeks?” And she was super sweet about it. And I called my local librarian and I said, “Get me everything you can find on arthritis and intimacy.”

I thought to myself, if she’s having this problem, how many more of my patients are having this problem? I would have these lectures around town, and no one would come. And so, I thought, OK, what is going wrong? And I think, you know, Vicky’s very smart about positioning. Read More >